Getting married isn’t going to solve our inabilities to wake up for Fajr or get up for qiyam. We need to develop our own selves without expecting marriage to somehow magically change our lives. Marriage can be a great tool of self-improvement and can help us change for the best, with Allah’s will. Marriage is amongst the greatest blessings that Allah (swt) can bestow on a person; and the creation of a family, and taking care of that family, is amongst the greatest acts of worship. But if we are not personally working on ourselves now, how can we expect that it will be easier with the additional baggage of another individual who is also imperfect?’
I just wanna you know this..
I love you, nothing left to lose..
Hope you have a great marriage and Allah blesses you two..
And, for sure, I’ll find someone better than you..
Ohoh, It drives me somewhat crazy anyway. Not because, i couldn’t marry. But, because so many times, many friends did drive me crazy over this topic. >,<” Such there isn’t topic more important than this.
It is okay, if they told me, they wanna marry everytime we meet or talk. But, just don’t like it, cause they talk it just maybe a lust or worry to see other friends got married. Haha. Intinya mah jadi kamu membuat galau diri sendiri dan itu menular terhadap orang lain yang jadi sasaran kamu ngajak ngobrol. Hadeeuh..
Once i want to talk “Stop telling me this topic!”. But i can’t do that, i know it. They have right to consult or ask anything to me, and i have responsibility to help them. Haha. Tapi tetep weh.. Hello, i don’t have any experience in this topic. Well yeah, i just know about this in the book. Nothing less, nothing more. Just theory.
My friend told me, because this is our year, “meujeuhna ngomongin beginian”. Well, perhaps, yes. Haha….
Intinya, karena lagi hangat-hangatnya ngomongin “getting married”, so allow me to give you some advices ;-). For you, who are preparing your marriage, for you who are going to marry soon..
Marriage is a great moment for the brides and the groom. For that, you (the muslim and muslima) should have preparation. Five things you should prepare yourself before getting married, i took this from my note, and my teacher take this from Ust. Cahyadi Takariawan, itu lho buku Keakhwatan..
Moral and spiritual aspects
Moral and spiritual aspecst is about how close you are from your Rabb. Spiritual readiness is important thing in this subject. Indication in this aspect is : your confidence and your faith for marriage. For man, you have readiness to be qawwaam (leader) at your new house (for your wife and your children). You must have responsibility as husband and leader in your house. And for woman (muslima), must have a readiness to open a new space for intervention by your husband. You know I think, marriage such a team to get Mardhatillah. Hehe
Self readiness in moral aspect is significant, you can see at QS 24 : 3. Good man for good woman. So make ourselves be a good one. How can a man demand the quality of his wife as same as Fathimah bint Muhammad, while he doesn’t have capacity such ‘Ali ibn Abi Thalib. How is possible having wife as tough as Siti Sarah dan Siti Hajar, while he isn’t as tough as Ibraheem ‘alaihissalam. This applies to Muslima as well, hehe.
Prepare the morality by increasing your faith and religious knowledge and continuous self development. After that, Introspection! Judge yourself more fairly and wisely.
- Conceptional about marriage aspects
Indication : we know about law, ethics, rules, and everything about marriage in Islam of course. Because everything in our life is set in Islam. From the first you saw the world until you see the world for the last time.
- Physical aspects
Indication : healthy so both sides will able to do their things optimally. I think you all know about this.. Hehe
- Material aspects
I don’t invite you to be a materialistic one, but we can’t denied that material aspect is one of places of worship. For instance, Hadj, surely we need cost to do that. Islam puts economic responsibility in husband hands. A man must have readiness to feed his family, so before married he should know sustenance doors which will fulfill this obligation as husband.
- Social aspects
Get married lead the subject get social status in the community. Familiarize yourself involved in community activity is a way of doing social preparation.
A couple of days ago, I read an article, one of my scholar I knew at Masjid Salman, we some times call him Ust. Samsoe hehe, got married for the first time in his 56 year old. Maasha Allah… How great you know! When so many youngmen/youngwomen ‘confusion’ (galau..) about when they marry and with who.. Oh, he can surely proved his patience to wait for the right time to get his bride. Huhu. hufftt.. Very tearing!!
56 year old, is not a short time you know.. hikshikshiks 😥 .. How strong his faith!
So, for my entire sisters and brothers, let’s upgrade our faith for always stay patience and accept all our destiny. Hehe.. Keep positive thinking to Allah.. Bismillah.. Someone out there, maybe waiting you in your good appearance, good knowledge, and of course in your good relationship with the One, Allah swt..
Say no to Galau !
But, you know what?? I have something bothering me,, but I know, Allah is teaching me of something. Haha. Somehow I think, I am a marriage consultant, heuheu, at least for my close sister. She thinks, I know everything about that, but just for you know, I’m not. I’m still learning by reading in the book, not learning by doing. So, maybe what I recommend to you, that are just theory. But, I pray it can help you.. Hehe